AUM, originally uploaded by ammassridhar.

Be willing

I said good bye to my oldest friend a week ago;  Quigley, a complete mutt. She was born literally on top of my stomach 16 years ago. I woke up from a sound sleep to find her mother, a pit bull husky mix, smack on top of me, birthing her puppies. Quigley was with me through homelessness, drunken mis-adventures and failed jobs before I married my fabulous husband, Sean and settled into a stable existence through Iyengar Yoga.
After we sent Quigley on her way, later that day I did an intense inversion and backbend practice to strengthen my nervous system and gain some courage. Still with me are 2 dogs and 8 cats. That number is likely to naturally rise or fall as certain animals befall a natural tragedy or we take in some new member.
Living with animals teaches us compassion. In fact, compassion is required. How would you feel about yourself  if you knew that you were willingly mistreating an animal? If I have the capacity to love, feed and house an animal, I believe I should, so I do. At times, I even find myself feeling guilty, thinking, perhaps I could handle more. But I know I need to have a limit somewhere, lest my teaching and practice suffer.

Throughout this past week, I found myself curious; examining my reactions and emotions. My reaction to this death made me stay in asanas longer, trying to go deeper physically, so as to perhaps answer some question. Why am I sad? The love still exists, just not the recipient of that love. Why is any kind of change or interruption so painful to adjust to?
Pain can be our teacher.  One of the most difficult aspects of delving deeper is to accept the idea of being unsatisfied over and over again.  Santosa is often translated as contentment, but also as acceptance for what is, not what we think is reality, but what truly is reality. Sage Patanjali warns us to not be greedy, with aparigraha being a yama, a moral and social discipline. When this delving deeper brings us to this place of emptiness, Isvarapranidhana (surrender to God) is the saving grace to keep us out of the daurmanasya (despair).  But we may find that difficult because our asmita(ego) asks questions, forms excuses and arguments and then moves to another comfortable place of ignorance(avidya).
I truly believe that the life force within each creature moves on to another physical form after death. Whether that is actually true or not is unproven scientifically. So, I accept that what I would like to be true may not be and don't waste anymore energy on it. If I look back I am lost. Do not succumb to samshaya (fear, doubt).
In life and in practice, being willing and receptive is important. Be willing to feel the sadness. Be willing to adjust to the change. Relax. Be receptive and open to the idea that the way things were, although familiar and comfortable, no longer matters. There is the new pose now, and only my attitude will determine my success. Citta vikshepa is a distracted, unpleasant disposition. Citta prasadana is the sattva quality manifesting.When in a pose, inhale, exhale, delve deeper, be willing to make a small change here, perhaps a major adjustment , then moving deeper, getting closer.
Practice these forward bends with these ideas. Stay calm, inhale, exhale, be willing to go deeper. Exist in a different place, willingly, peacefully, sattvically.

Supta Padangusthasana 1 & 2
Supta Padangusthasana 1, 2 & 3
Supta Padangusthasana 1- full pose, lift head, bring leg close to face

Uttanasana- feet together-2 minutes
Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana- 1st time just bring Padma leg up
                                                    2nd time bend forward
                                                    3rd time, full pose, wrap arm around to grab foot, or use a belt

Paschimottanasana- 2 minutes
Malasana 1
Marichyasana 1
Triang Mukha Eka Pada Paschimottanasana
Malasana 2 -wraps arms, grab back of ankles
Janu Sirsasana
Ardha Baddha Padma Paschimottansana- twice, wrap arm around both times
Marichyasana 2- I have been teaching this, but if you have not been taught it yet, practice Kurmasana instead
Paschimottanasana

Adho Mukha Svanasana
Padangusthasana- concave back only
Adho Mukha Vrksasana
Sirsasana
Chatuspadasana
Salamba Sarvangasana
Setu bandha on a brick
Savasana

Happy!

I  swam through a nasty swamp to get to this point here today. Starting around the beginning of December, I got a nasty stomach virus that lasted about 2 weeks and lead to Shingles. If you have never had Shingles, my advice to you is this: don't get it. It is  very annoying and unpleasant. After I got rid of the Shingles, my husband and I both got the flu at the same time. This flu was  2  weeks of the most horrible body aches ever, a headache that made me suicidal and an intense burning sensation in both ear canals, both nostrils and throat. It was hilarious.
The first 3 days of the sickness I could not do any kind of yoga practice at all. I tried. Even the most mild restorative pose was unbearable. I was just creating new pathways for the pain to infect. I forced myself to do a few restoratives, thinking that if I stuck it out, it would eventually improve, I only spread pain. Finally after the 3rd day, I was able to do a restorative practice, even though it seriously took me 5 minutes to get into Halasana on the chair.
I was actually starting to become a little concerned that I would still have the stinking flu during my assessment, but finally, the day before the test, I started feeling better. By the actual day of the test, I was feeling absolutely fabulous after feeling like such crap for so bloody long.
So, I passed the test and am happy to be here typing away. Here is a sequence from the Wednesday (Jan. 16) night Vinyasa class at Stillwater.

Supta Tadasana
Supta Padangusthasana 1

Abdominal work: Urdva Prasarita Padasana-one leg at a time, switching back&forth several times
                             Lift head and shoulders off floor, keep switching legs, pulling lifted leg into face- several times

Supta Padangusthasana 1, 2, Parivrtta and 3 all the the same side

Vinyasa: Tadasana-Urdhva Hastasana-Uttanasana-Adho Mukha Svanasana- Plank pose-Chaturanga Dandasana- Adho Mukha svanasana- Tadasana- Several times

Vrksasana-2x
Garudasana-2x
Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana- full pose, holding foot, arm wrapped behind

Vinyasa: Adho Mukha Svanasana-Uttanasana- Chaturanga Dandasana- Trikonasana- Ardha Chandrasana- Parsvkonasana

Marichyasana 2-2x
Matsyasana-full pose
Adho Mukha Vrksasana-hold for 2 minutes
Sirsasana- Baddha Konasana in Sirsasana

Viparita Dandasana, feet up on chair
Viparita Dandasana, feet on floor
Urdhva Dhanurasana into Viparita Dandasana back up into Urdhva Dhanurasana

Adho Mukha Svanasana
Wide leg Uttanasana
Parsvottansana
Parivrtta Trikonasana-front leg bent slightly
Salamba Sarvangasana
Halasana
Savasana

Urdhva Padmasana in Sirsasana

DSC00730, originally uploaded by deweesescience.

This is me smiling upside down.